Having a baby changes your life, your husband’s life and your relationship. Each stage of your child’s growth leads to something new.
Honestly, these changes are beautiful. This new little person can help you and your husband mature individually and as a couple. However, to experience the positive effects a baby will bring into your life, you need to make sure that you and your husband are in harmony.
Here are 10 questions you need to ask your husband to prepare the both of you to welcome a little one into your lives.
1. What are you willing to sacrifice?
Find out if your husband is willing to sacrifice hobbies, friends, his job, etc. for the caring of your child. He won’t have to sacrifice these things, but being a parent really is a full-time job, so between the two of you, you’re going to have to figure out where to carve out the time necessary to devote to your precious little one.
2. Are you OK with our sex life changing?
Believe it or not, it’s not easy to feel sexy when you can’t even remember when the last time you showered. This doesn’t mean your intimate relationships will crumble or that they’ll never go back to the way they were, but it does mean that they might not be top priority for a while. Even so, there are other ways to be intimate and as long as you are both communicative about your needs, you’ll figure out how to keep the romance thriving.
3. Will you change stinky diapers?
It should not be one person’s responsibility to do all the dirty work. Make sure your husband has the same expectations when it comes to divvying up the baby-caring responsibilities.
4. How do our fights end?
Your relationship isn’t in jeopardy if you fight, but if your fights end poorly it is. Fights end well if they end in forgiveness, compromise and solutions. If you resolve disagreements this way, you know your relationship is stable enough to add another human to the mix.
5. Will you spank our child?
The way you two handle discipline will morph as your child grows and the world changes but it’s necessary for the two of you to be on the same page at every step of the way. For example, if one of you believes in spanking and the other doesn’t, there will be a disconnect in your parenting that will directly influence your child.
6. What does “dad” mean to you?
There are so many definitions of what it means to be a mom or a dad. You can be super hands-on or go for a more free-range style of parenting. You have the opportunity to build that definition together, so have a discussion on how you want your parenting to look.
7. Who can help us?
No matter how self-reliant you two are, you’ve got to know it takes a village to raise a child. Whether it’s to teach you basics such as how to warm a bottle of milk or to give a hand when you haven’t slept in 72 hours and just need someone to take over for a second, your (and your baby’s) life is going to be so much better if you have a support system. This can be made up parents, siblings, friends, teachers, etc.
8. What religion or belief system do you want to teach our child?
You might think you’re both on the same page when it comes to the belief system you want to educate your child on, but unless you get right down to it and discuss the beliefs you want to raise your child on, you won’t know for sure.
9. How will we fund a child?
Get out your calculator and crunch in all the purchases (diapers, strollers), doctors appointments, time off work, etc. that are consequences of introducing a new person into your family. You can make it work but the two of you need to have a financial plan in order.
10. Where do you see us 10 years?
It will be inspiring to hear your husband’s vision for your future so that the two of you can take the steps necessary to make it a reality. Ideally, he will see you still together and parenting your child(ren) together for 10 years and many more to come.
As you and your husband grow together through the journey of parenting, you will be experiencing your child’s growth and boy, do they grow quickly. The best way to manage these changes is to get equipment that supports your little one’s development.